I’m enjoying a beautiful spring night on my back patio. The bats are out, flying about. I always enjoy watching the bats. It’s so quiet and peaceful. It’s a perfect time to let my brain wander. And so I ponder.
It’s the quiet moments that are the hardest. You know the ones – sitting on the porch or deck as a new day awakens, a Sunday afternoon stroll, relaxing by a fire, contemplating a good movie, a graduation or wedding invitation, watching a sunset – those are the moments I treasure, and the moments I long to share. They are the moments that seem the most empty by myself, some of the moments when I feel the most alone; the moments when my heart reminds me how broken it remains.
Dinner on my own, at least at home, has gotten easier. I’m beginning to embrace the concept of cooking for one, or two if my son happens to be home. I absolutely enjoy the leftovers and fewer times I need to actually cook. But the underlying thought always nags – I’d rather share the meal than have leftovers.
I’m still not comfortable with activities or events on my own. I can’t seem to get passed the core knowledge that life is best when shared, and without my person, without my love, activities and events are just flat and empty. Left with that, the idea of fun things is always kind of spoiled. Oh, I’ll still do some of the fun things, but more often than not, I’ll end up bowing out, early or completely, and watching a movie or a show.
That’s one nice thing about quarantine, no place to go, no activities to miss. It’s also a bummer – no opportunity to try.
Anyhow, no epiphanies tonight. No crisis either. Just a random thought on a beautiful spring night. Always aware of how precious and short life is. #LoveOnPurpose and #LiveYourFaithBodly, even in, or in spite of, a quarantine.