[Original post Nov. 5, 2021]

[Updated Nov. 6, 2025]

Today, I’m thankful for my life. The last eight years have been some of the hardest, most awkward, confidence crippling, and exhausting years of my life. They have also been filled with growth, healing, and new blessings. And they are eight years that God said I got to have.

See, eight years ago, I almost bled to death. 

The summer of 2017, I’d struggled with lack of energy. Fiercely. My menstrual cycle had been even more aggressive than usual, but I’d grown so accustomed to all of it over the years and months, I just plodded on. Boy did I feel like a wimp every time I had to slow down and catch my breath as I struggled to get the wagon of gear across a field for tournaments. I couldn’t believe how bad it was when I mowed the fenced-in part of my yard – I couldn’t finish and went inside and almost passed out. Just walking across my living room, I had to sit down and wait a few minutes to gain strength.

When October rolled around and the the heavy bleeding continued ALL MONTH LONG, I knew I needed to get to the doctor. The day after my appointment, I got a call from the office. Her instruction?  Get to the hospital – immediately – for a blood transfusion.

To say I was not expecting that would be an understatement. Once I was admitted (totally didn’t know that would happen) and was getting everything started, the nurse looked at my file and calmly exclaimed, “Wow. A 6. It’s really hard to sustain life at that level.” I will never forget those words.

In case you don’t know (I sure didn’t), a normal level on the hemoglobin scale is 12-18. Although our body is amazing at restoring its blood levels on its own, my body just couldn’t keep up. My doctor said the only reason I hadn’t gone into shock and died was because my body had been able to adapt to the slow steady loss over time, but it was critical. More words I’ll never forget.

My issue was underplayed at the time. That’s just kind of my way, plus all the focus was elsewhere (my husband’s cancer took precedent). I suspect many didn’t even really know it was a thing – or any big thing, at least. So, I had my transfusion, drove us the 3+ hours to Wichita (and back) for a fundraiser, got sick, researched treatment plans for Thadd, had surgery, implemented our camcer treatment plan, and did everything I could to take care of my husband through the end of his life. That was a gift and a privilege, and I’d do it all over again.

But today, eight years later, I’m acutely aware of the fact that I almost died, but God wasn’t finished with me yet. He’s been gentle and gracious with me during an excruciating season of grief. He’s allowed me to heal, to just be, and to grow. He’s been building a new me from the fragmented pieces that remained; He’s still fashioning new pieces and refining this new me. He’s also brought new people and opportunities into my life. I am so thankful that I get to keep learning and growing and sharing – living.

So today, I’m thankful for MY life. It isn’t perfect and definitely isn’t what I thought it would be at this season of life, but I get to live it and I get to discover what new things God has for ME. I get to watch my children continue to blossom and thrive. I get to snuggle grandkids. I get to write new stories to encourage others. And I get to discover the new ahead of me. So, here’s to each new day, and to the new. Here’s to life.

#loveonpurpose and #liveyourfaithboldly