There are widows out there who feel like they have to live for their late spouse. Their late spouse had so many things left undone – concerts to see, projects to complete, places to go, experiences to have, tales to tell, dreams to realize… life to live. So the surviving widow sees it as their mission, their duty, to fulfill them on their behalf. Worse, are the family and friends who think, promote, and encourage this.
Stop living a dead persons life!
Their life has ended. It is complete. Whether or not you like it or agree with how it all happened, it is finished.
You, the surviving widow, are still alive. You have YOUR life to live. Although some of your dreams and desires may still be the same as those you had with your spouse, do NOT trap yourself into a life of dreams and goals of a dead person. Not only is it okay to live your life, it is vital to live YOUR life. God isn’t finished with you; your life and influence aren’t complete.
Open your heart and mind to what is in front of you. Be willing to see new dreams and new goals. Be willing to have new hopes and new desires. Ones that have nothing to do with your late spouse. They won’t mind. Theirs is complete. Finished. Fulfilled.
I know it hurts. And it’s harsh and hard. I’m walking this path, too. It’s not easy finding this new me for this next season of life. I’m committed to doing it, though. I believe God has more for me to do. Me. Not my late spouse. Me. For now, just me. And that’s not selfish. That’s healthy and healing.
We all walk forward at our own pace, on our own path. Just make sure it IS your path, not the broken one behind you belonging to the one who died. You cannot fulfill their dreams. You can only work toward yours. You can only live YOUR life.