Widow Wisdom Wednesday – Changing the conversation.

WARNING: Possible hurt feelings and and unpopular information coming next: Keep reading if you really do want to know how to be a helper.

Telling a widow what you think they should be doing is not helpful. Helping is helpful.

But… but…

No. No “buts”. How about taking the “see a need, fill a need” approach. Do you see and hear what your widowed friend is doing, or trying to do? Then join them. HELP them succeed. Don’t stand back in silent, or not so silent in many cases, judgement, waiting for them to fail – or worse, watching them flounder.

Your widowed friend’s life is not suddenly yours to approve of, fix, or challenge.

Take a moment to take that in. I’ll repeat it. Your widowed friend’s life is not suddenly yours to approve of, fix, or challenge.

It is still their life, in a blown up mist of chaos, grief, and loss, which they are trying desperately to discover and navigate. Did they ask your opinion or advice? Then go ahead and give it. If they didn’t, rather they asked you for help (that’s a gift in itself), then guess what – keep your opinions to yourself and be a helper, an encouragement, and a support.

Helping means doing things that THEY need, that will further THEIR agenda, and accomplish THEIR goals. NOT YOURS.

You can be a part of #changingtheconversation about #widowhood by learning and embracing the reality of widowhood, in all of it’s unusual messiness, and being the kind of helper that is, in fact, helpful.

#loveonpurpose and #liveyourfaithboldly